Ah , hm , yes go into deep thought and think about that subject for a while. Yes it happens .. Men can become like that. I'm experiencing it in two different type of ways. Through my relationship and my moms. And the more I experience it , the more I hate this!
I can't say much right now about my moms but from my experience and going to therapy. It's starts small with little things, like jealousy and anger. My boyfriend for a fact is a very jealous person. His idea of a perfect relationship is me not talking to any guys but him. And I'm the type of girl to have guy friends and still be loyal! So that was a big no no! But he also just gets mad at everything , and when I call him out on it he makes me the victim.. Saying things like.. you're disrespecting our relationship. I have good reasons to get mad at that because everyone agrees with me ! You're wrong ! Is what he always tells me. A while back when we first starting dating he said, "if you break up with me, I'm gonna kill myself." This wasn't something I thought big about until recently with my therapist. She said that's the beginning and that's already extreme in a way. He also claims to destroy my property if I'm to do something wrong. This is him controlling me with fears and a way to make me feel bad or scared of leaving him. In a article I read it said
Sadly, most of these relationships become abusive and I’m not talking only about the physical abuse, but also about the emotional abuse. When they lose their trust in you, they will start accusing you of different things and your fights might degenerate into physical altercations or emotional abuse (they could tell you that you are not capable of doing anything right or that you’ll never find someone as wonderful as them who will love and accept you as you are with all your horrible faults).
Now for the main reason I wrote this article.. My mom. I live with her and her boyfriend and at this point I have no one to tell how I feel about their relationship. I tried to tell her I didn't like him and he didn't really treat her right. But she starting crying and saying I would rather her be miserable with my dad again and I didn't want her to be happy cause I only cared about myself. -.- I tried. I really did.
But it's just , I'm not sure if I'm overreacting about them. My cousin said it's jealousy because apparently I don't get attention and I want all that attention to myself. But here goes. I'm not calling him controlling like my boyfriend but like today for example.. My mom doesn't like my boyfriend but I had an appointment today at the clinic and he likes to go to them to be aware of what is going on with the baby. And well my mom never takes him or gives him a ride back home. Today he had no ride back and had to take the bus. My mom, willingly offered a ride to leave him close by his house. So she did. We drop him off go to subway and go home. Now we get home I sit down to eat my subway and her boyfriend starts to argue with her. He was angry she took him home or gave him a ride. He also said that if she's gonna be doing that then she can find her own way to get to the clinic. She just said ok calm down I won't do it again and comes out of the room and tells me. We're never giving him any rides home ever again because my bf doesn't like that. And if you want him to go then go with him and find you're own ride. Or we can all the take the bus together to get there. And that's it. It just bugged me.
But it's not just that, its more ... Many more things that happen.. I just don't think my mom sees it so horribly because of what she went through with my dad. *sigh*
-MaggieO
Sadly, most of these relationships become abusive and I’m not talking only about the physical abuse, but also about the emotional abuse. When they lose their trust in you, they will start accusing you of different things and your fights might degenerate into physical altercations or emotional abuse (they could tell you that you are not capable of doing anything right or that you’ll never find someone as wonderful as them who will love and accept you as you are with all your horrible faults).
Now for the main reason I wrote this article.. My mom. I live with her and her boyfriend and at this point I have no one to tell how I feel about their relationship. I tried to tell her I didn't like him and he didn't really treat her right. But she starting crying and saying I would rather her be miserable with my dad again and I didn't want her to be happy cause I only cared about myself. -.- I tried. I really did.
But it's just , I'm not sure if I'm overreacting about them. My cousin said it's jealousy because apparently I don't get attention and I want all that attention to myself. But here goes. I'm not calling him controlling like my boyfriend but like today for example.. My mom doesn't like my boyfriend but I had an appointment today at the clinic and he likes to go to them to be aware of what is going on with the baby. And well my mom never takes him or gives him a ride back home. Today he had no ride back and had to take the bus. My mom, willingly offered a ride to leave him close by his house. So she did. We drop him off go to subway and go home. Now we get home I sit down to eat my subway and her boyfriend starts to argue with her. He was angry she took him home or gave him a ride. He also said that if she's gonna be doing that then she can find her own way to get to the clinic. She just said ok calm down I won't do it again and comes out of the room and tells me. We're never giving him any rides home ever again because my bf doesn't like that. And if you want him to go then go with him and find you're own ride. Or we can all the take the bus together to get there. And that's it. It just bugged me.
But it's not just that, its more ... Many more things that happen.. I just don't think my mom sees it so horribly because of what she went through with my dad. *sigh*
-MaggieO I'm planning to break things off with my boyfriend for anyone thinking that. Hehe.. Just don't know how , it's a difficult thing to think about and how he will take it. Thank you for reading.
If you've realized that you are in a relationship where your partner cares more about control and totally neglects all the other aspect of your relationship, like mutual respect, mutual support or romance, then you should do something to change this situation. Just talk to them, try to work it out and think about what you want, what you deserve and what you get from your love life. Have you ever been involved in a relationship with a controlling partner? How did you manage it?
This reminds me of when I was with My first boyfriend. It's scary at first. But if you surround yourself with the people who care about you. You will be fine.
ReplyDeleteAs for mom. It's going to take time....